[Video] Bat 001

[worthyheir]

[An annoyed boy of 10 sits in front of his computer. He has messy black hair partially covered by a hood over his head, and is wearing a domino mask that covers his eyes. He has perfect posture, which enables the camera to catch the upper portion of his Robin costume, complete with its signature “R.”]

All right, Batman, this isn’t funny. You and I both know that the Joker is too dangerous to let live, but I knew you would be against my plan, which is why I waited for you to be away. I was trying to protect you from liability. I had no idea that you would go this far to protect him. Where did you send me? Did you enlist Zatanna to bring me here? Or perhaps Raven? Either way, I demand that you end this foolishness and bring me back right now. This is too much, even for you.

[Damian crosses his arms and his eyes narrow.]

I learned my lesson, Batman, and I demand you bring me back.

[He holds out the crowbar covered in blood to the camera.]

I'll even let you have the crowbar back.  Happy?

Comments

[Voice]

[worthyheir]

Todd, this isn't funny. We beat you, get over it. Pretending it never happened is juvenile.

We never found Sasha, by the way.

[Voice]

[reallyiscrazy.livejournal.com]

I'm not joking around kid. I have no idea who you are, or why for that matter you've decided to play dress up.

Who the hell is Sasha?

[Voice]

[worthyheir]

I am not playing dress-up! Jason, you really need to get over the fact that we beat you. Di--Batman was right, you are delusional.

Scarlet? The little dollotron you turned into your sidekick? And here I thought you were worried about her. Hmph, lesson learned.

[Voice]

[reallyiscrazy.livejournal.com]

[He's silent now for a while]

"Batman" obviously never told you about me. I have rules. The first one is never to get kids involved. That means, no sidekicks. So this Scarlet, or whatever her name is, I've never heard of her.

So time to try a different story kid. Start with how the hell you know my name, and who the fuck told you it.

[Voice]

[worthyheir]

Batman told me all about you, not that he had to. We met, Todd, on several occasions. You shot me before I became Robin, or do you not remember that, either? You do remember your pathetic attempts at being my--Batman, don't you? And don't patronize me, we all saw you with Scarlet. You had her post videos online for crying out loud! [Mimics Jason's crazy Red Hood voice perfectly.]"Red Hood and Scarlet say..." [His voices goes back to normal.]You really should take Batman's offer on the help, you clearly need it.

[Voice]

[reallyiscrazy.livejournal.com]

Look you little midget, I don't shoot kids. I don't turn them into my sidekicks, and I certainly have never met you before in my life.

I just got back from saving the god damn multiverse. I'm not about to jump back into my shit ass ways.

And why the hell would I ever try to be Batman? I don't want the damn job. Never did.

[Voice]

[worthyheir]

The... [Light bulb moment.]

Mother always said to avoid time travel.

[Voice]

[reallyiscrazy.livejournal.com]

Your mom sounds like a smart ass woman.

She got a name?

[ENCRYPTED--Voice]

[worthyheir]

Hmph, it's time I improve the security of this obsolete connection... There.

Talia Al Ghul.

And she's not that smart. She made an enemy of me, after all.

[ENCRYPTED--Voice]

[reallyiscrazy.livejournal.com]

[There's the sound of a chair falling back]

Wait. What? You.. Damian?! No freaking way!

I mean you... you were just a little baby the last I saw you?

[Another pause]

How did you end up with Bruce?

[ENCRYPTED--Voice]

[worthyheir]

I am 10, Todd. I'm hardly a child.

Mother, Father, and I crossed paths several times. I never formally "ended up with him" before he di--got sent through time.

[ENCRYPTED--Voice]

[reallyiscrazy.livejournal.com]

It was my understanding that good old momma didn't want you anywhere near the Robin world. Until you were ready. And Grandpa Prick didn't want you there at all.

Then again, you had to be maybe three the last time I saw you.

[ENCRYPTED--Voice]

[worthyheir]

She thought I would outgrow it. She thought wrong. I am formally an enemy of the House of Al Ghul. [Is sort of proud of that, but also kind of hurt.]

[ENCRYPTED--Voice]

[reallyiscrazy.livejournal.com]

[He whistles a bit, very impressed.]

Well well. Little Dami up and grew up on me. And here I had hoped I'd get back in time to give you your first sword.

But here you are, all grown up with crowbars, and a shinny Robin costume.

[He sounds like a proud older brother, which is kinda strange for him.]

[ENCRYPTED--Voice]

[worthyheir]

Do not call me Dami.

And do not act familiar to me. You may not have shot me yet, but you will. And thanks to your antics, you brought that gay psycho Flamingo to Gotham.

[ENCRYPTED--Voice]

[reallyiscrazy.livejournal.com]

Sorry kiddo.

You don't know that. From what I've heard of my future self, I'd rather shoot myself.

If it helps you sleep, I don't think Flamingo was actually gay. He just likes pink.

[ENCRYPTED--Voice]

[worthyheir]

You'd be doing the world a favor.

Hmph, you didn't see him. Yet.

[ENCRYPTED--Voice]

[reallyiscrazy.livejournal.com]

Thanks, that makes me all warm and fuzzy inside.

[He snorts]

I've seen him before, I wasn't impressed.

[ENCRYPTED--Voice]

[worthyheir]

You'll get no sympathy from me, Todd.

You're lying.

[ENCRYPTED--Voice]

[reallyiscrazy.livejournal.com]

Good. I hate sympathy.

I have no real reason to lie to you. You already hate me, even though I have no idea why. So what's the point?

[ENCRYPTED--Voice]

[worthyheir]

I do not hate you, Todd. I simply don't trust you.

[ENCRYPTED--Voice]

[reallyiscrazy.livejournal.com]

Then you're smarter than Drake will ever be.

[ENCRYPTED--Voice]

[worthyheir]

OF course I'm smarter than Drake.

[ENCRYPTED--Voice]

[reallyiscrazy.livejournal.com]

Modest too.

Got any super powered friends yet?

[ENCRYPTED--Voice]

[worthyheir]

I don't need friends.