worthyheir | [Video] Bat 001

[An annoyed boy of 10 sits in front of his computer. He has messy black hair partially covered by a hood over his head, and is wearing a domino mask that covers his eyes. He has perfect posture, which enables the camera to catch the upper portion of his Robin costume, complete with its signature “R.”]

All right, Batman, this isn’t funny. You and I both know that the Joker is too dangerous to let live, but I knew you would be against my plan, which is why I waited for you to be away. I was trying to protect you from liability. I had no idea that you would go this far to protect him. Where did you send me? Did you enlist Zatanna to bring me here? Or perhaps Raven? Either way, I demand that you end this foolishness and bring me back right now. This is too much, even for you.

[Damian crosses his arms and his eyes narrow.]

I learned my lesson, Batman, and I demand you bring me back.

[He holds out the crowbar covered in blood to the camera.]

I'll even let you have the crowbar back. Happy?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Brown looks fat in spandex. Hmph, she looks fat without spandex.

...What else?

Brown? Steph Brown? Spoiler? Her costume isn't really spandex...

He did design his own batsuit.

She's fa--batgirl now.

All of them?

[Excuse him while he laughs himself stupid]

Oh that's just perfect! They're just giving the bat titles away now.

Oracle's training her. I don't see her much, which is fine by me.

How can... you know what I don't think I want to know.

I don't know nor care about their training regime.

You are still a kid.

Wait a few years. I bet you'll be sneaking down to see if Oracle has any of her Birds over.

Ew! They're all old.

Old?

[Bursts out laughing. Oh Damian you're just a kid!]

Kid most of the Birds are in better shape than most teenagers. Age don't mean anything.

Old is old, no matter how attractive they may look on the outside. I've been around far too many Lazarus pits, Todd.

I'm surprised you weren't born into one. But that doesn't matter. I've been around them too. Probably why the age thing doesn't bother me.

Also, I was dead for a few years. So my age is off anyways.

I was born in a test tube.

You died? Like grandfather... Whose body did you steal to come back?

I know that. I was being... you know what never mind.

No. The Joker killed me.. how did you become Robin and didn't know that? It's like the horror story that follows the Robin mantle around.

I didn't steal anyone's body. I remember being in Heaven... then waking up in my coffin. I dug myself out of my own grave. Then your mother tossed me in a Lazarus pit. How I got from point A to point B however is a mystery.

I knew that...! That's why I was using the crowbar on the Joker... [He keeps forgetting that the Robin named Jason Todd is also the psycho named Jason Todd since the other two Robin's he's around are freaking boy scouts.]

Yes, I heard grandfather wasn't happy about that.

[Snickers. Because that's still amusing.] And I'm going to love hearing that, every single time.

Ah, no. Your grandfather basically hates me.

I only wish I had been able to finish the job before I wound up here.

I don't think he likes anyone other than himself.

Same here. It would have put my mind at ease anyways.

Probably not. But there might be hope. I mean your mom is still alive.

I promised Dick I wouldn't kill anyone. I never said anything about leaving anyone in a vegetative state. He's harmless once you remove that brain of his.

Mother is of no concern to me anymore.

People can survive with no legs. Remember that.

So you just cut and ran?

The Joker doesn't think with his legs, Todd.

She disowned me.

No. But he moves with his legs. Not a very good psycho when he can't move.

She had to have a reason for it. You know that right?

That's quite possibly the stupidest thing I have ever heard. Yes, he might not move, but the Joker has everyone's ear. If he can talk, he can cause chaos. If you cut out his tongue, he'll find another way to communicate. You have to take out his brain. Fool.

Yes, she's growing herself a new perfect son for her own comfort. She's no longer cares for me, nor I her. [He cares, he really cares, but he's not telling that to Jason.]

Can't we do both?

[Yup that's not creepy at all] Peachy. Sounds like she's the mother of the damn Frankenstein monster.

If you want to take out his legs if they ever let you out of prison in my time, feel free. In the meantime, I will turn him into a vegetable.

I don't care about her, or anything she does anymore. I am an enemy to the house of Al Ghul.