worthyheir | [Video] Bat 001

[An annoyed boy of 10 sits in front of his computer. He has messy black hair partially covered by a hood over his head, and is wearing a domino mask that covers his eyes. He has perfect posture, which enables the camera to catch the upper portion of his Robin costume, complete with its signature “R.”]

All right, Batman, this isn’t funny. You and I both know that the Joker is too dangerous to let live, but I knew you would be against my plan, which is why I waited for you to be away. I was trying to protect you from liability. I had no idea that you would go this far to protect him. Where did you send me? Did you enlist Zatanna to bring me here? Or perhaps Raven? Either way, I demand that you end this foolishness and bring me back right now. This is too much, even for you.

[Damian crosses his arms and his eyes narrow.]

I learned my lesson, Batman, and I demand you bring me back.

[He holds out the crowbar covered in blood to the camera.]

I'll even let you have the crowbar back. Happy?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

If this is some attempt to comfort me or something, stop. It's not working.

Would a hug help?

Why would you want to hug me?

[Only knows what a hug is from observation.]

Hugs make people feel better. You do know what a hug is, right?

Don't patronize me, Kent! ...Of course I do.

You can call me Conner, you know. And I know how antisocial you Bats can be, it was a legit question.

You have had a hug, right? I mean, I can't see Papa Bat hugging anyone but...

I rarely saw my father before he... disappeared.

You know Batman, can't keep the guy down. He'll be back any day now and scowl at everyone again.

How about your mom?

I never met my mother until I was 8.

What the hell did you do for the first eight years, then?

I was trained by various members of the League of Assassins.

And I thought being grown in a tube was bad, you win.

Huh?

You win for having the suckier childhood.

I didn't know there was a contest for such a thing. ...That's stupid!

It's not really a contest, it's a figure of speech.

I really need to take you out sometime. For fun. You know fun, right? It's that thing people do that isn't training or fighting.

That's really stupid.

You mean pointless activity's lesser people occupy their times with? I don't need it.

[Video] Bat 001

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